It’s good to know I’m not alone in this… _(=_=)_
of course I do; how else am I going to go to sleep?
Fuck that, AVADA KEDAVRA THOSE BITCHES
And that is the story of the Peverell brothers
They each made their choice, one wiser than others
They stripped me of wand and of cloak and of stone
And I bade young Ignotus be selfless and roam
And many years passed ‘til he called me his home
But I took the other two for my own. [x]
What a bitch.
BACK IN MY DAY WE USED TO LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC
HERE, LET ME PULL OUT MY OLD IPOD AND SHOW YOU DUBSTEP I’M SURE YOU’LL LIKE IT SONNY
Hey, lemme tell you a story
It’s called Homestuck
I’ll be the one chasing my grand-kids going “BLAWRGHLL” and running like Flappie, omg.
‘Let me tell you about Homestuck, my dear children.’
“WHOAH YOU’RE MY GRANDCHILDREN? I HAD CHILDREN? WHAT. I WAS PREGNANT? YOU BETTER BE CALLED VRISKA JR.”
shit lets be old
“YOU’RE FOURTEEN ALREADY?! SHOULDN’T YOU BE STARING AT PICTURES OF HOMOSEXUALS ON THE INTERNET?”
I actually want to have kids just for the sake of becoming a grandparent.
BACK WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WAS OBSESSED WITH GAY PORN WHY AREN’T YOU
grandma I’m a straight 11-year-old boy
UGH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH YOUR FANCY HETEROSEXUALITY WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HAD TO SHIP SLASH COUPLES UPHILL BOTH WAYS IN THE SNOW
“Ugh there’s too many gay couples on tv”
“WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE THERE WERE TWO GAY COUPLES ON TV. KIDS IN AFRICA WISH THEY HAD THE GAY COUPLES THAT YOU HAVE NOW.”
“NOW KIDDO WATCH YOUR GRAMAMA DANCE TO ONE OF HER CHILDHOOD FAVORITES.
TO THE FRONT.
TAKE IT BACK NOW, Y’ALL,
CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH.”
WHAT’S THIS SHIT YOU’RE READING ON? WHERE ARE YOUR BOOKS?
WHY DON’T YOU HAVE HARRY POTTER ON YOUR SHELVES?
BLAINE JR STOP CRYING AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDMA.
OH DONT BE MAD ABOUT WEARING THE REDSHIRT UNIFORM, REDSHIRTS ARE NOBLE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE CREW….YES YOUR PARENTS WORE THEM TOO AT YOUR AGE…YES THEY LIKED IT….
‘UGH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH YOUR FANCY HETEROSEXUALITY WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HAD TO SHIP SLASH COUPLES UPHILL BOTH WAYS IN THE SNOW”
“HUH? YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WORSHIP FICTIONAL MEN AND HOT CELEBRITIES LIKE THEY WERE GODS? WHY, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WAS SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED BEFORE LUNCH AND SHIPPED MORE THAN…WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHAT IS ‘SHIPPED’ YOU ARE NOT MY GRANDCHILD. I DISOWN YOU.”
“LISTEN UP KIDS, I’M GONNA TELL YOU THE SAME THING I TOLD YOUR GREAT GRANDMA-YES, I KNOW MISHA COLLINS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER. NO, I DON’T THINK IT’S UNHEALTHY. WHERE DO YOU THINK I GET FROM? AND IF YOU DON’T SHIP IT I WILL END YOU!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S SUPERNATURAL? BACK IN MY DAY I USED TO CRY OVER MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS DEATHS AND SPEND EVERY DAY ON TUMBLR READING FANFICTIONS ABOUT MY OTP. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S TUMBLR? I HAD A PIMPIN’ BLOG, YOU LITTLE SHIT. NOW GO AND GET MY GLASSES, GRAMMA’S GONNA WRITE FANFICTION AGAIN.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BREATH.
You want a bedtime story sweetie? Here, let me read you a classic of literature: will it Flowers in a Box or Performance in a Leading Role? What do you mean Sherlock and John are “just friends?” What the hell are your parents teaching you? They are the greatest love story that ever existed! I’m going to have to have a word with them little Mycroft.
“Come here, little ones. Let me tell you a story that I knew when I was a kid.
I wanted to be the very best -like no one ever was. To catch them was my real test; to bed them was my cause.
I travelled across the land, searching far and wide! Each celebrity I wanted to shag to see the power that they did hide…”
I love Tumblr.
You put down that cheesecake and you get on up, girl, get on up! SIT DOWN!!!
What the hell are you doing outside? Get back in and get online.
Don’t you ever let me catch you getting physical activity ever again.
Now go look at pictures of homosexuals.
- INSTEAD OF GANGS- THERE WOULD BE FANDOMS
“UGH, THERE’S ANOTHER FIGHT BETWEEN THE HARRY POTTER FANDOM AND TWILIGHT FANDOM IN THE YARD.”
“OH MY GOSH THE DOCTOR WHO FANS ARE TRYING TO CONVERT THE OTHER FANDOMS AGAIN SHIT WE NEED TO STOP THEM BEFORE ONE OF THEM GETS SONICED”
“THE SUPERNATURAL FANS KEEP STEALING SALT FROM THE CAFETERIA, DAMNIT, ALL THE FOOD IS BLAND”
“THE SHERLOCK FANDOM HAVE STOLEN ALL THE BLANKETS AND THEY’RE UPSTAIRS ON THE ROOF ROCKING BACK AND FORTH CLUTCHING JAM. AGAIN”
“CAN SOMEONE TELL THE MERLIN FANDOM THAT ‘YOU’RE THE VOICE’ IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE SONG FOR 3AM”
“THE GLEE FANDOM’S PERFORMING AN IMPROMPTU KILL-RYAN-MURPHY-WAR CHANT IN THE CAFETERIA AGAIN” “AGAIN!?” “ON THE TABLES.”
“THE PRISION BREAK FANDOM IS TRIYING YET ANOTHER WAY TO BREAK OUT”
“THE TRUE BLOOD FANDOM SIMPLY REFUSES TO GO OUT DURING THE DAY”
“THERE WAS A STORM AND THE MISFITS FANS WENT WILD AGAIN”
“THE SHERLOCK FANS KEEP JUMPING OFF THE ROOF”
“The Starkids keep performing unauthorized experiments with Red Vines.”
THE DARREN CRISS FANS KEEP JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE MAKE IT STOP
THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE “FETCH” HAPPEN AGAIN!